"Silver Lining" ... Photograph by Ron Holle
Okay, so yesterday's entry was a bit of a bummer. Getting dumped*, crying a lot, beating myself up for being such a dumbass when Maggie called ...
Imagine my surprise when I realized there was a bright side to all that sturm und drang.
Thanks to the liquidation of my tear ducts, an inability to eat, and two stress-induced puke sessions, I went to bed three pounds lighter than I'd been in the morning. Even better, since I had to blog the weight my housemate Jackie verified before she left for work, I can ride those three pounds into next week's weigh-in (if I play my cards right). All I need is just a few more gloriously miserable days.
That's right, I've learned an important lesson: Gut-wrenching pain is extremely beneficial to the whole diet thing.
When I mentioned my silver lining to Jackie this morning (you'd be surprised at the overall quality of our 6:45 a.m. conversations), she was totally on board. Now, if you remember Day 17, you already know that Jackie, despite being thin by anyone's standards, is convinced she should drop another five pounds. I suppose it's part of being an actor, since we all know the camera adds ten pounds. Anyway, not only did Jackie know what I meant, she added her own heartwarming tale.
As my Day 1 entry detailed, I went to Thanksgiving dinner at a fancy L.A. restaurant this year with Jackie, George, and Jackie's mother, brother, and brother's girlfriend. Jackie didn't eat much because (it turns out) she'd just started The Pill and it was making her nauseous.
(Quick Tangent: Since George - who's Jackie's boyfriend in addition to being one of El Cinco Grande - is frighteningly adamant that he'll never, never, ever want children, why should Jackie have to go on the pill? I went on the pill once in my mid-20s for maybe a year (before I jumped the fence), and it totally fucked me over by causing hairs to sprout on my face. I was horrified. To this day, I'm forced to include Tweezerman as one of my best friends. So if George is all "I hate babies" (which he is) then why doesn't he just bite the bullet and tie himself off? He could always freeze a big ole' vat of his seed beforehand - you know, just in case. I can only assume there are reasons I don't know about. I need to investigate further. But in the meantime, I digress ...)
So there we are at Thanksgiving dinner, and I thought (at the time) that Jackie's peckish approach was due to dietary restraints. But no, it was the nausea, and even though it was a very pricey meal that she didn't have to pay for (thanks again, Jackie's mom!) she was secretly pleased. The fact that she didn't want to eat, she told me this morning, was what made her most thankful. "How fucked up is that?" she added, laughing. But she didn't backpedal, not even a little.
So, if any of you reading can think of a way to hurt me - make me cry, screw me over, mess with my life - bring it on.
I can totally use it as inspiration.
* Dumping Update (Dumpdate): Maggie and I have been talking about the situation. I don't know what will happen, and for now, I'm okay with that. I'll keep you posted (so to speak).
8 comments:
And see there was the opportunity I mentioned yesterday.. It is fucked up that you lost Maggie, but at least you lost some weight.. Hm but seriously, I hope you get quickly through this whole shit..
You have so many layers to work through don't you? I'm in my own inferno (for different reasons) and I'm finally starting to learn about the causes for my deep dissatisfaction with life to date.
You want to lose weight and stop smoking pot. Why do you eat and smoke pot? That is the ultimate question. Maybe there are other questions you can answer along the way.
To use a Buddhist metaphor we have to sit and look at the wall in front of us until we see the wall(s) we've built inside ourselves and then we have to knock down those walls to find the truth.
I wasn't sure if I would return to this blog, but now I think I want to see how your story develops. I send you my best wishes.
You know what would be great?
A walk.
We love it when that happens.
- your dogs, Callie and Sydney
p.s. we want aliases, too. Just because we sniff ass in public doesn't mean we don't want some privacy.
I want to read more feedback from the dogs!
Where's the truth about your discoveries in this developing circumstance with Maggie May?? I know they're floating about in that busy mind of yours ... share, please ... it makes for the best reading ... spit out the truth darl... You know who:)
Try getting your tonsils out. My roommate in college got her tonsils out and was dumped by her boyfriend a day later, meaning she could neither talk nor eat solid foods for over a week. But hey, she lost 10 lbs, and she was so sad she didn't even want to eat. Talk about a one-two weight-loss punch! (Hear the irony in my voice, please.)
I have an idea! Go on the pill for 2 weeks (and quit when the effects wear off). Then start another form of birth control and hopefully you get two more weeks of nausea. Do that every other month or so to jumpstart your diet!
Hi Karen! I missed you this week. The three times in my life that I lost lots of pounds:
1. My break up in an adulterous situation. (I would have rolled in broken glass for him, I'm such a moron.)
2. Extreme alcoholism.
3. Having all 4 wisdom teeth extracted at once; dry sockets to boot!
"Beauty" is pain... You have a beautiful soul, one that seeks balance and truth; be good to yourself. I also have an open letter to you at my blog.
Take care,
Mon :-)
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