DAy 505: License to Spill.

Okay, so I shaved five pounds off my weight ...

"Honey, I think maybe you read number 19 wrong."

The woman behind the counter handed my test back, expressionless, and I took another look. Question 19 asked what a motorcycle rider should do when he or she is being followed too closely at night. Choice One was to drop way back and use your high beams. Choice Two was to maintain position and use your low beams, and Choice Three was to drop back slightly and use the headlights of the car in front to help guide your way.

At least I think those were the choices. It's all started to get a bit blurry over the last 48 hours. All I know for sure is I was breaking a sweat as I stared down at #19. I was one missed answer away from failing.

When I'd first sat down to take the test 15 minutes earlier, I'd been feeling pretty cocky. I whizzed through the 12 questions in no time, surprised that the DMV would allow me to miss four of 12 and still pass. I walked up and handed the test in, confident.

As the woman checked my answers, I quickly realized that every time she put pen to paper it was bad news. I watched her slash the pen once, twice, three times ...

I gulped. One more to go. She made it to the end ... and then slashed the last one. Still, I breathed a sigh of relief. I'd passed!

Then she flipped the test over, shook her head and laughed at me.

"Sweetie, you still have 13 questions to go," she said, holding up a very blank Side Two.

I just about died. Thirteen questions and no room for error? Yeah. Right. We bantered for a few minutes about the unfairness of it all (and my retardation at not turning the page), and then I slowly trudged back to finish the test. I returned to the counter ten minutes later with a heavy sigh.

All of which brings me back to #19. I'd somehow managed to get 12 out of 13 right on the back page, and now the woman was trying to give me a break. Finally, I looked up and winced.

"Drop way back and use your high beams?" (Stupid, I know, but the motorcycle handbook is always going on about how you should use your high beams any time you can, since it's so hard for car drivers to see motorcyclists).

My new friend shook her head.

"Maybe it would help you to hear the question out loud," she said, her voice betraying nothing. "Sometimes, people get confused by the words on the page."

She read the question out loud, I pretended to consider my answer, and then I offered up the only answer that was left: drop back and use the headlights of the car in front of you.

The woman started laughing and stamped my test as "Passed."

I feel a little bit guilty about getting my Motorcycle Learner's Permit in such shady fashion, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also pretty psyched.

Now I just need to find a way for that same woman to administer my driving test.