Signs of Life in Athena, Oregon - 2007
After years of careful consideration, I can safely say that being stoned at 7:30 in the morning is the closest you can get to lying on a beach somewhere. Life’s sharp edges are smoothed, thoughts feel free to roam, there’s humor in the absurd, and the body feels adrift in a contented wash.
Unfortunately, the
If my mother were here, she’d cheerfully quote one of her favorite lines from Animal House: “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”
(I’m her daughter – and it should probably read “Fat, stoned and lazy” - but you get the idea.)
Why am I thinking about all this today?
I guess I don’t have a choice.
Every so often, you find yourself glimpsing your life from a distance, an emotional vantage point that reduces the whole complicated mess to a few simple facts. The key is to immediately look away, a sure-fire tactic (but not really).
It’s like stealing a split-second glance as you pass a car accident. Even though you're already turning away, your brain has managed to snap some horrifying image that will stay with you for days.
My glimpses have been more frequent lately, and the images seared into my memory aren't pretty.
Here are the facts:
1. On November 24, 2005 (Thanksgiving Day), I decided to stop smoking pot after getting stoned several times a day – every single day – for more than 10 years. The plan (a.k.a. “The Experiment”) was to stop for one year.
2. During that same time, I also vowed to drop 75 pounds.
3. I didn’t smoke pot once. And while I fell shy of the weight goal (even after adding 130 days), I did manage to lose 40 pounds (from 223 to 183).
4. I also wrote a book (young adult fiction) and signed with a solid literary agency in
5. Then, on Day 384, the Christmas season hit, and dieting took a holiday.
6. On Day 414, I met someone I’m crazy about. We’ve been seeing each other steadily every since.
7. On March 24, The Experiment ended. I began smoking pot again five days later.
8. Over the last six months, I’ve gained back 15 pounds and haven’t written much of anything.
9. Over the last three months, I’ve slid back into a daily smoking routine.
Those are the facts. Perhaps you can see why it's getting harder to turn away and keep driving.
