There's this great website called www.thinkexist.com that has a gazillion quotes organized and cross-referenced every which way, and every day, I receive their Quote of the Day in my mailbox. They're almost always interesting. (I also really like the interactive 'design a t-shirt with your favorite quote' link - there are tons of colors and shirt styles and you can make any shirt you want for as little as $14.99 plus shipping. I haven't ordered one yet, but eventually, I know I will.)
Today's quote was from Confucius, and it read: "It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
To be sure, I've gone very slowly with this weight loss. A veritable crawl, if we're being honest. I'm 35 pounds down from my absolute heaviest, and that's something to be proud of, but I'm well aware of how much better I could be doing if I had more discipline.
Still, I can live with slow and steady ... I guess.
What I can't live with is my more recent tendency to stop really trying altogether. For the last few weeks, I've taken Succeed and Slacken to an all-time high.
The sad truth is that I just haven't cared about losing weight. I've been having fun and feeling good, and the combination has left me indifferent toward my larger goals. I haven't been doing the weights program at all, and because I'm tutoring in the early mornings, I haven't even been walking. I'm not gaining weight, but I'm certainly not losing, either.
So ... what to do? How can I kick myself in the ass in a productive way?
I'm not sure what the answer is, but I have to stop this slide into apathy, and I have to stop it soon.
4 comments:
Is something else going on that's making you feel a little down? What comes up when you stop to look out the window?
M
M asks a good question. I would only add that you probably know better than anyone what really motivates you, what thought pattern, reward system, or fear gets you going. I can tell you what (sometimes) works for me when I'm in a slump with my work. If I set short term goals and remind myself how much better I feel when I'm working on the problem than when I'm ignoring it to surf the web, it often helps me start the ball rolling again. What doesn't work (for me) is the negative reinforcement - the "OhMyGod if I don't get this done I'm so screwed" fear. However, that seems to be the only thing that gets some people going, so I can't tell you what would be best for you.
Is it possible you're feeling resentful about the burden the blog has placed on you to keep people updated about something so fraught and personal? It would be totally natural to want to say "the hell with it, I'm going to go live my life; I don't need to turn in daily reports." I'm not trying to put words in your mouth; I just think I might start feeling that way if I had pledged to post daily updates about the state of my dissertation for all the world to see (and comment on)!
Anyway, just a few thoughts that are probably completely off the mark. I'm very glad you've been having so much fun. I think a full and engaged life is what it's all about. Let us (friends, family, blog readers) know if we can be of any help to you!
xo,
ESM
It is such a rhetorical question because you know what you have to do. Go back to what was working. It sucks because it wasn't as much fun as you are having right now. But, part of why you are having fun is because you have lost 35 pounds and stopped smoking and that has made you feel better. Sure, you can have a tantrum, but then get back out there and go walking. You are doing great, just don't stop.
xxx
PS ESM keep going with that dissertation!
If you figure out what gets you motivated again, let me know! I'm stuck at 35 pounds down too, with 35-ish more to go. I haven't lost any more weight since March. I'm sure my sojourn in SoCal isn't helping...
Jill
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